I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he thought i was a dude.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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