I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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