Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
