He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
