matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
