Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
