I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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