Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
