I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
