He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
