My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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