am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
