those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
