after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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