Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize