it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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