We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
