The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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