Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
