I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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