a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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