I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
