Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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