She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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