so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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