I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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