Cold hands, warm shart.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
