we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
