those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
