This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
