I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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