I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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