So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
