Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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