I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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