You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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