this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
