In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
