so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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