After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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