so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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