i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He better not be in your backpack
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
