I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
