some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
