I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
