I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
