We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
