THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
