he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
