So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
